👋 Hey Reader!
Here’s what I’ve got for you in today’s issue of WFH Dads:
→ Dad guilt - 3 things you can stop stressing about
→ Recommendation of the week - a book to help you stop feeling guilty
Let's get into it.
Dad guilt - 3 things you can stop stressing about
Being a dad today comes with no shortage of advice.
One day you read that your kid needs more independent play, and the next you’re told that NOT playing with them at the park is neglect.
You hear screen time is rotting their brain, but then wonder how other parents manage long trips without it.
You try to make space for downtime, but feel like you're failing because your kid isn't enrolled in 3 extracurriculars.
A book that helped me reframe some of these expectations is Hunt, Gather, Parent, which shows just how different (and effective) parenting looks around the world.
And even as I write this, these are still things I catch myself feeling guilty about.
So if I’m feeling it, I figure other dads probably are too.
This newsletter is as much a reminder for me as it is something I hope encourages you.
Here are 3 things you can stop feeling guilty about.
1. Not playing with them whenever they want
At home
I hear this one a lot from other dads.
You're working and they come into your office (or bang ruthlessly on the door until you open it) and want you to play with them.
You think 'Man, if I were as good of a dad as Bandit I'd be all over this opportunity.'
But you've got work to do. And if you accepted every invitation to play, you'd never get anything done.
Here's what I tell my 5 year old daughter:
What game do you want to play? Ok, I need to finish my work right now but I'm going to take a break at 11:30am. Let's play then ok? But if you keep coming in, that's going to slow me down and I won't be able to be done by 11:30am.
At the park
If you want to run around and play tag, awesome.
But if you just want to sit on a bench, sip your coffee, and call a friend while your kids play? That’s okay too.
Giving them that space helps them build independence.
'But Daddy, I want to play with you! I don't have anyone to play with 😭!'
Gently and consistently let them know, “I’m going to just sit here today, but you can go play.”
It gives them a healthy chance to explore and self-direct.
2. Screen time (yes, even “extra” screen time)
We all know screen time isn’t a replacement for play, reading, or human connection.
But using TV or an iPad strategically isn’t something to beat yourself up over.
In our house, our kids watch TV while we prep dinner.
On sick days or plane rides, the rules loosen up—and that’s okay too.
What’s helped us is setting clear boundaries: when they can watch, what they can watch, and how long they can watch.
It's particularly helpful if they're just asking to be on a screen a lot during the day for you to say:
'You can watch Mickey while I'm making dinner later...but if you keep asking then you won't be able to watch it then either.'
The structure prevents it from turning into a free-for-all, but also relieves us of constantly wondering “are we messing them up?”
Shoutout to my fellow millennials who had the TV on literally all day by default 🙃.
3. Not doing ALL the activities
Soccer. Piano. Gymnastics. T-ball. Coding camp.
It can feel like every other kid is booked every day of the week.
But busy ≠ better.
Giving your kids downtime (even boredom!) is valuable.
It helps them learn to be creative, self-soothe, and regulate their own time.
And it keeps you from blowing up your calendar.
Not every season needs to be high-activity. Let them (and you) breathe.
You're doing fine
Guilt thrives when we compare ourselves to an imaginary perfect parent who doesn’t exist (even though social media would lead you to believe otherwise).
But the reality is if you’re thinking this deeply about being a good dad (and you're subscribed to a newsletter on how to be a better dad), you’re already doing a great job.
So today, breathe a little easier. Let some of that pressure fall away.
You’re showing up, thinking intentionally, and choosing what works for your family.
That’s enough.
Recommendation of the week
Love this newsletter from Marcus Frink who is a Mayo Clinic-certified health & wellness coach. The big question he poses to his readers is this:
Will you dance at your granddaughter's wedding?
His newsletter, 66.1 helps you build a life where the answer to that question is yes. It merges science and common sense to help you live healthier, for longer.
This issue in particular is helpful in finding ways to make exercise easier, because if it's easy, you're a lot more likely to do it.
You'll also notice plug to do jiu jitsu in there, which I'm all about.
Check it out and subscribe if it resonates with you.
What’s one thing you find yourself feeling guilty about as a dad?
Hit reply and let me know. I read and respond to all of them.
Thanks again for being a part of this community!
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Thom Gibson
Founder of WFH Dads
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