👋 Hey Reader!
Here’s what I’ve got for you in today’s issue of WFH Dads:
- 3 things to do before your next work trip
- What I’m reading - a book on eliminating ‘hurry’ from life
3 things to do before your next work trip
I’m writing this from a hotel room near Portland, where our fully remote company is holding one of our biannual retreats for our 80-person team. I’ll be here for about a week.
Work trips are hard on the family.
From not seeing the kids to my wife having to take on all the household responsibilities (while still working), it can be a lot. Single parents know this struggle all too well.
Leaving for these trips without considering their impact on your family—or how you can support your partner—can lead to conflict, hurt feelings, and resentment.
I want to share some things that I do to prepare for these trips.
These ideas don’t make it easy to be gone, but they help a little bit.
Communicate with your partner
Acknowledge the challenges
One of the best things you can do with your partner is simply acknowledge that this is hard.
Saying “I know it’s hard to take care of the kids when I’m gone on these trips” can go a long way.
Give them time for themselves
In the days leading up to your trip, you could:
- encourage your partner to do something for themselves, like get massage, lunch with a friend, a trip of their own…something.
- take on more of the household responsibilities than you normally do
- watch the kids when they get up early in the morning so your partner can sleep in (since you will have the luxury of sleeping in uninterrupted for a few days)
Get help
Do whatever you can to provide support in while you’re gone.
Is there family in town that can help?
If not, do you have the means to fly them out like Mitch did?
Could you hire a babysitter to help? You can find some on websites like care.com
Could you pay to have them in school / daycare a little longer? This is what we’re doing this week.
Communicate with your kids
Write them
My dad was deployed a lot when I was a kid. And those trips were a lot longer than a week. The main thing I remember about those deployments was getting letters from him. Made me feel special.
Now whenever I leave, I write a message for each kid on a note card and put it somewhere I know they’ll find it within that first day. I just tell them I love them and miss them and that I’m looking forward to seeing them again soon. My daughter still has the one I wrote her a year ago sitting on her night stand.
One of my colleagues takes this to the next level and sets up a scavenger hunt for his kids to do when he’s gone.
Spend time with them before you go
This doesn’t have to be an extravagant thing, but should be intentional, uninterrupted time with your kids.
Put the phone away and ask them what they want to do.
Play a board game, eat at your favorite sushi spot, go to a concert - do something together.
Show them where you’re going
Point out where you’re going on a map. It gives them a sense of where you actually are.
When you’re gone…
Make time to check in
Text and ask how things are going.
Send pictures showing what you’re up to.
Figure out when you can Facetime for a few minutes given your schedule and potential time zone shifts. Or use an app like Marco Polo for asynchronous video chat. I often send my wife a tour of my hotel when I get there and she can watch it later.
Don’t forget the souvenirs
You don’t need to buy anything expensive - simple gifts that show you were thinking of them and also show a little bit of where you were at.
Thankfully, magnets are a hit for both my wife and kids.
And don’t wait until you get to the airport on your way home to start looking - I did that and ended up not being able to find Audrey a little potato plushy I promised her from Boise, ID.
What about you?
I’d love to hear how you prep for your work trips.
Reply and let me know. I read and respond to all of them.
What I'm reading:
|
|
I’ve been on a John Mark Comer kick.
Read ‘Practicing the Way’ a couple months ago and now making my way through this one. It explores how hurrying not only makes us anxious and stressed, it’s slowly destroying our souls.
It comes from a Christian perspective and how hurry keeps you from being able to truly connect with and experience God’s love. It also makes you a less pleasant person. As a WFH dad, I’ve noticed that the constant hurry in my life not only affects my work but also strains my relationship with my wife and kids.
This book offers insights on how to slow down and be more present.
|
Thanks again for being a part of this community!
|
|
Thom Gibson
Founder of Work-From-Home Dads
|
P.S.
Here's another newsletter I highly recommend. [who it is and why]
